Red pepper flakes are spicy, but they’re spicy like a friend who makes questionable life choices—fun, unpredictable, and sometimes a little regrettable. They’re not the heat lords of the spice world, but they don’t have to be. They’re just there to make your mediocre leftovers feel like a tiny adventure.
So next time you’re shaking that little jar, just remember: you’re playing with fire. A very small, inconsistent, but entirely real fire. And if you end up chugging milk? Welcome to the club. We have jackets—though they’re probably stained with pizza sauce.
