The payment machine is where things get delightfully weird. It accepts cards, but it judges you as you swipe. Tap too fast? It beeps angrily. Pay with loose change? The machine sighs audibly, like a goth teenager. The rate? About £1.20 per hour, which sounds decent until you realize you’ll spend £2.40 just trying to find your car again.
Green Parking Ltd. Stevenage Gates Way Public Car Park at Opposite Gate
A wild and surprising fact: Green Parking Ltd claims to be “green” because they use LED lights. Yes, the lights are bright enough to land a 747, but the car park itself feels like a 1980s sci-fi film set. There’s a cycle of low-energy bulbs, but your stress levels are definitely using coal power.
The Pedestrian’s Plight
Exiting the car park is a test of human endurance. You walk through a stairwell that smells like a mix of old rain and regret. The steps are uneven, and the handrail is sticky for reasons best left unexplored. On the plus side, you’re only a five-minute walk from the town center. On the minus side, that five minutes feels like a pilgrimage, and you’ll consider just living in your car instead.
But here’s the kicker: the car park is located near a major bus station and the train station. So if you really hate it, you can abandon your car and take the bus. Green Parking Ltd thought of everything—except, apparently, the fun.
