Sure, you could fly from Tampa (which is only 30 minutes from Lakeland) to Miami. That flight is about an hour. But by the time you park, get through security, and wait for your bag, you’ve already lost two hours.
Plus, you miss the best part: the cultural slideshow of seeing Florida transform. You’ll pass cow pastures (yes, Florida has cows), then swamps, then strip malls, then suddenly you’re in a place where everyone drives a Lamborghini and speaks three languages. It’s wild.
The “Are We There Yet?” Meter
Let’s break down the drive into phases, shall we?
Phase 1: Lakeland to Yeehaw Junction. This is the easy part. You’re still feeling optimistic. You might even listen to a podcast. You’ll pass the famous “Yeehaw Junction” sign and wonder if anyone actually lives there. (Spoiler: A few brave souls do.)
Phase 2: Yeehaw to West Palm Beach. This is where the ennui sets in. The landscape gets flat. Really flat. You start counting billboards for fireworks stores and sketchy tax services. Your snacks run out. The kids in the back seat start a mutiny.
Phase 3: West Palm to Miami Gardens. Congratulations, you’ve entered the Traffic Gauntlet. Suddenly, you’re weaving through eight lanes of chaos. You see the Miami skyline in the distance, but it never seems to get closer. It’s like a mirage, but with more concrete and hostility.
USA 2017 - Florida Holiday
