Here’s what you do: pour a glass of dry red (Cab, Pinot, Merlot). Don’t worry about the 3.5 grams of carbs. They’re a rounding error in your daily life. Worry more about the glass count. Two glasses? Fine. Three? You’ll wake up with a headache and a text to your ex that you definitely shouldn’t have sent.
And if anyone asks you “how many carbs in red wine glass,” look them dead in the eye and say: “Three-point-five. And don’t you dare judge me for the second glass.” Then take a long, satisfying sip. You’ve earned it.
Cheers. Or as I like to call it, mathematical day-drinking.