You survived. Congratulations. You’re now armed with the knowledge to face your next ill-advised Tuesday night. Remember: the best cure is prevention, but that’s boring. So next time, pace yourself, eat before you drink, and keep ginger on standby like it’s a first-aid kit for your soul.
And if all else fails? Just remember: everyone’s stomach has betrayed them at some point. You’re not alone, you’re just a little dumb. Go sip some water, eat a cracker, and for the love of mercy, do not look at your phone until the room stops spinning. You’re welcome.