Here’s the punchline: yes, tuna is good for you, but like a stand-up comedian, it works best in short, well-timed sets. Stick to two to three servings per week for light tuna, or one serving of albacore. Mix it into salads, pasta, or just eat it straight from the can while standing in your underwear at midnight—I won’t judge.
And if you’re worried about the ocean’s health, look for “pole-and-line” or “dolphin-safe” labels. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than supporting fishing that resembles a marine demolition derby. So go ahead, pop that lid, take a bite, and remember: you’re a modern human eating a fish that has been preserved in a metal can. Weird, but wonderful.
Just don’t forget the hot sauce. It makes everything better, including existential food crises.
