Look, at the end of the day, it’s just a turkey. If you’ve washed it for years and everyone is happy, I’m not here to yell at you. Food is about love, and love comes in many forms.
But if you’re feeling curious, try the no-wash method this year. See how it feels. Notice the lack of cleanup. Pay attention to the crispy skin. You might just convert to the dry-patted life.
So, should a turkey be washed before cooking? The chill answer is: nah, skip it. Save the water for your veggies, and let the heat do the hard work. Your kitchen—and your guests—will thank you.