The actual eye test is like a bizarre performance art piece. A lovely woman named Brenda shines a light into your eyeball while asking, “Which is better, one… or two?” You panic because you think she’s talking about chocolate bars. Here’s the surprising fact: the human eye can distinguish about 10 million different colors, but during this test, you’ll only see blurry green squares and red circles that look like a ransom note.
I failed the “is the baby crying or laughing” test when they showed me a picture of a fuzzy baby. Turns out, my prescription was older than my grandmother’s microwave. The optician, a wizard with a Ph.D. in “vague questions,” said, “You’re basically seeing through a wet bin bag.” Thanks, mate.
