Not everything is a crisis. You can call to report a leak that’s turning your street into a water park. You can call to query your bill (which might look like it was written by a drunk accountant). You can even call to compliment them on a job well done. Yes, that happens. Rare, but real.
One guy called just to say thanks because his water pressure was so strong it washed his car. The operator laughed. The guy became a legend. Be that guy.
There’s also a 24-hour emergency line: 0800 316 9800. Use this if water is pouring into your living room, your street is flooding, or you see a manhole cover dancing like it’s at a rave. For everything else, stick to the main number.
The Secret World of Thames Water
Did you know they have a Drain Doctor? Not a real doctor, but a team that unblocks your drains with giant snakes of steel. They also have a Smell Team that sniffs out bad odors in sewers. Yes, they pay people to smell poo. That’s dedication.
Once, a Thames Water employee found a goldfish alive in a sewer pipe. It had been flushed down a toilet and survived for days. They named it “Flush.” The fish was rescued. The owner never claimed it. Nobody knows why.
Another time, a yoga class in London flooded because a pipe burst. Thames Water fixed it in under an hour. The yoga instructor said it added a “water element” to the practice. The students were not amused. They were just wet.
