If you want the full Wakefield experience, you must visit the infamous wallpaper warehouse near the M1. It is a concrete bunker that looks like it was built to survive a nuclear apocalypse. Inside, it is a labyrinth of discount rolls. You will find patterns from 1982 that are £2 each. You will also find a pattern called “Las Vegas Leopard.” It’s exactly what you think.
I once spent two hours in there. I came out with a roll of giant pineapples (for the loo), a roll of tweed-effect woodchip (don’t ask), and a strange sense of accomplishment. The cashier, a woman with hair teased to heaven, said, “You’ll be back, love.” She was right. I went back last Tuesday for the pineapples’ cousin: a pattern of neon flamingos.
So, next time you’re in West Yorkshire, skip the usual tourist traps. Go to a Wakefield wallpaper shop. Touch the flock. Argue about avocado. And if you find a roll of Las Vegas Leopard, buy it. Your life won’t change, but your bathroom will look hilariously aggressive. And isn’t that what home décor is all about?
