Sparkling water is the office worker who got a surprise raise and started wearing a blazer. It starts as plain, ordinary tap water—the stuff you run through a filter—and then gets carbonated by having carbon dioxide pumped into it. That’s it. No fancy springs, no volcanic rocks, no ancient glaciers. It’s like taking a boring glass of water and convincing it to act bubbly for the party.
You’ve probably had it a thousand times. Think of LaCroix or Perrier—though wait, Perrier is actually mineral water, but that’s a plot twist for later. The point is, sparkling water is artificial fizz. It’s the water equivalent of when you fake a laugh at a bad joke. The bubbles are real, but the source is just… municipal. It gets the job done, especially when you mix it with lime and pretend you’re on a yacht.
But here’s the dirty little secret: because it’s just treated tap water, it can taste a bit flat or even slightly bitter if the carbonation is aggressive. It’s like the friend who’s fun in groups but kind of awkward one-on-one. Still, for a buck a can, you can’t complain too much.
