Parades run on what I call “Float Time.” This is like dog years, but slower. A parade that’s supposed to start at 10:00 AM will actually start at 10:17 AM because the Shriners in their tiny cars got lost in a parking lot. Factor that in. Add 15 minutes to whatever the flyer says. That’s your real start time.
And don’t forget the pre-parade chaos. The real show begins when you see a guy in a banana costume jogging past you, waving at no one. That’s your cue to get your camera ready. The parade itself is just the encore.
What Time Does The Thanksgiving Parade Start?
Kids, Dogs, and the Snack Calculus
If you have kids, the parade starts at “whenever they stop asking for snacks.” Pack enough goldfish crackers to feed a small army. And if you bring a dog, remember: they care about the parade only when a float throws a squeaky toy. Otherwise, your dog will just stare at you with an expression that screams, “Why are we here? Is this for me?” Spoiler: It’s not for them.
For snacks, time your munching strategically. Eat your doughnut during the first marching band. Save the granola bar for when the antique cars roll by (they’re boring, but the engine smells like nostalgia). And for the love of all that is holy, do not bring a hot dog. Nobody wants to see you eat a hot dog while a drill team is performing. That’s just weird.
